Emotional regulation is considered to be a key competence demonstrated by strong and successful leaders. Apart from self-regulation, this is the ability to both manage and influence the emotional states of others. Emotional regulation is the facet of emotional intelligence that determines morale and motivation. However, how emotions are regulated is critical. Research has found that people tend to regulate their emotions in one of two ways: suppression or reappraisal.
Suppression is when you hide your feelings and pretend not to feel upset. Despite being the most common emotional regulation route, research has shown that suppressing emotions elevates stress responses in others. They physiologically register your showing-up with suppressed emotions as inauthentic and lacking in empathy.
Cognitive reappraisal involves reframing situations in order to change context and hence one’s reaction. It consists of changing the way a situation is construed so as to change its affective meaning and decrease the emotional impact. Then responses may be consciously created as opposed to emotive reactions.
Source: Handling Negative Emotions in a Way that’s Good for Your Team
Consciousness In Business 
Isn’t ‘cognitive reappraisal’ a fluffy word for manipulation? By changing the context of a real situation with the agenda to ‘positively’ affect the outcome, one loses the opportunity to truly connect with the individual. Patronizing an ’emotional’ subordinate by channeling their state might work for the initial confrontation, but only breeds contempt once an employee realizes that he has been manipulated.
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Thank you for your comments, Isa. I agree with you that cognitive re appraisal may be experienced as being manipulative – that is if directed at another. The context here is the leader’s self-appraisal. I wonder if self-manipulation is a possibility?
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